This is Why Secrets are Secret
by CrimsonChoucho
Summary: What a man does in his spare time should be his own business. What would they say if they caught the Man of Steel building boats by hand in a basement? Would they just leave him be? How does it effect his team?
1. Chapter 1

This is Why Secrets are Secret

Summary: What a man does in his spare time should be his own business. What would they say if they caught the Man of Steel building boats by hand in a basement?

**Disclaimer:** None of the topics mentioned belong to me. DC probably owns Superman and Batman respectively, and NCIS is licensed by someone who's got a lot more money than I do.

May also contain random Out of Character moments.

One- Retired

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><p>Gibbs sat back at his desk watching Kate and DiNozzo play around in front of him with their reports. He wondered how long it would take one of them to discover his real secret, his real identity. It wasn't his three ex-wives, nor was it a story that Ducky would have ever guessed. Bruce would have been proud, he certainly wasn't a boy scout anymore. He smiled watching his rookies run around like chickens with their heads cut off. The small town he had picked, the man who appreciated his attention back home, it was all a play at being normal. Something he had always been anything but.<p>

When Ari showed up he almost wished he hadn't had his powers zapped almost into oblivion to remain on earth. Bruce had insisted upon it, that and his morning coffee contained a constant replenishment of the chemical responsible for it. DiNozzo, the brat he was ending up getting the brunt of his attitude from the evil chemical. Bruce was getting old, but his paranoia remained. Gibbs was tested every other month three ways to check he was still taking it.

Not that he regretted it, giving up being Superman had been one of the hardest things he had ever done. His body hated him so badly, he often spent days alone in his basement with the pain and dizziness from the chemicals. He had met Tony DiNozzo on an interesting case in Baltimore, when Tony chased him down he decided to recruit him for NCIS. He still missed being able to fly, especially when that bastard showed his ugly mug.

It had been tough on him when he decided to join the marines without his powers. He still had decent vision, but was now limited to being farsighted. Actually needing the glasses he used to wear so long ago was troubling. Although it was nothing new, he didn't have to worry about technologies back then. Bruce always walking him through them and he could actually read the screens then.

"DiNozzo, stop pussyfooting around and get me those statements. Kate, I need those personal files profiled and sorted. McGee is working with Abby on getting the cyber info and the forensics. I want my evidence now!" he walked past the Director with a scowl, his coffee had been spectacularly horrible this morning. He hoped that Bruce was happy, that shit tasted terrible, and it gave him horrible heartburn to boot.

"Jethro, you don't have to be so cranky," Ducky almost spooked him, but Gibbs had developed a sixth sense for the good doctor. It had served him well in the past, as had his other gut senses. He tried to swallow down the irritation that came with his chemicals, Ducky didn't deserve his temper, nor did he deserve the hostility.

"Duck, I don't know what to think," Gibbs walked towards the elevator, Ducky on his tail, "what do you have for me then?" The ME frowned, leading the way down to autopsy, via the stairs this time. How odd…

"I want to know why you are avoiding your physical," Ducky almost growled at him, "Jethro!" He refused to answer, he'd never had a physical done after Bruce had one done for the marines test for him. Semi annually he had one sent in for Gibbs, but Bruce had stopped sending them in. Perhaps it was a sign? The stairs echoed frightfully loud in his ears.

"I can't have a physical Duck," Gibbs answered swallowing another round of the bitter substance, "ask the director. I'm tested off site and the results are sent in." Gibbs watched the face of ME twist in irritation, he could see the tension gathering in his friend. He didn't want to piss the man off, but he certainly couldn't let that secret out into the light now.

"Don't do this with me. Leroy Jethro Gibbs, you will sit down here and have your physical, even if I have to do it myself!" Ducky pointed a finger at him, and Gibbs frowned. He couldn't believe this was happening now, not when he was dealing with Ari. Not when he was dealing with another madman who was shooting up the homeland, not when he was dealing with so many criminals. He couldn't let Superman's past catch up to Gibbs now.

"Duck, if I let you do it I will have to leave NCIS," Gibbs warned, "I can't allow it. The director doesn't even have enough clearance to force me to take one. If they did I could simply retire at this point." The ME frowned looking him over seriously, with what one might call a little more than concern. He didn't like making the kind doctor worry over him, not when he was perfectly fine.

"Jethro, what are you hiding?" the ME questioned opening the door for them. Gibbs stepped in with a heavy sigh, he looked to the other man then walked over to an unoccupied autopsy table. He pulled off his Jacket first, then the polo beneath it.

"You will burn the results, do not consult with anyone on it. Those are my terms, that the results of this test do not leave the room," Gibbs warned, "if you cannot abide by those terms tell me now." Ducky nodded heading for his medical bag.

"If that is what it will require of me, then so it shall be. Off with that last shirt," the ME instructed. Gibbs tensed as the final shirt was folded and set with the others, he hadn't been looked over personally since his last wife fiasco. Not that he hadn't enjoyed it, but perhaps he shouldn't have tried again after the second one. He doubted Ducky knew about Shannon. "My, my Jethro, how do you manage to hide that?"

One look at his person and Gibbs was mortified to see the scar smearing his chest where he had been blasted with kryptonite years ago. Underneath it was his perfect chest, every muscle as strong as could be given the circumstances his body was given. Everything about his upper torso had remained the way it was, only that it was less bullet proof when one drank, what he was assuming to be anyways, kryptonite laced coffee. Of course that had been by choice as Bruce would have mentioned.

"Hide what Duck?" he tried to feign annoyance, but it felt good to know some saw through his icy shell. "It's just a torso with some scars…" Ducky remained silent as Gibbs went through the motions of a physical examination. The results horrified one and baffled the other, the ME's reaction being the latter. He had tried to stick a needle in Gibb's arm only to have it bunch up on contact with skin. Gibbs heaved a sigh and ME looked at him with alarm.

"You can't be… this is impossible. Jethro tell me there's another reason," Ducky pleaded trying to understand, "tell me you aren't who I think you are…" Gibbs placed the coffee in front of him defiantly.

"A week without my coffee would confirm or deny any theory you have Duck, just keep the results to yourself. I retired from **that** and the Marines a long time ago," Gibbs answered pulling on his shirts again, "don't even think about mentioning it to anyone. Do you even need the blood test?" The ME just shook his head leaning against another table in utter disbelief. "Can I go then?" Ducky nodded and Gibbs barely caught his words as he was leaving the lab…

"How could I have been so foolish," Ducky muttered, and just as the Autopsy doors slid shut he was able to hear his old friend's deduction, "My god, Jethro can't be Superman." Gibbs shook his head, he wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not, but for Ducky's sake he was going to show him a little taste of the Man of Steel.

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><p><strong>Crimson Choucho-<strong> Don't ask what came over me, because quite honestly I am not sure. I spent most of the last few days working on Lord of the Tattoo's, then had an NCIS marathon and watched some Justice League, Batman the animated series (from 1992) and Superman the Animated series. Not to mention some transformers. I apologize for how short and spacey this sounds. I'd place the plot currently after the end of the first season, and about mid second season.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is Why Secrets are Secret**

Summary: What a man does in his spare time should be his own business. What would they say if they caught the Man of Steel building boats by hand in a basement?

**Disclaimer:** None of the topics mentioned belong to me. DC probably owns Superman and Batman respectively, and NCIS is licensed by someone who's got a lot more money than I do. This chapter also includes some eluding to another Batman which is probably also owned by DC. All series mentioned are not owned by this author.

May also contain random Out of Character moments.

**Two- Without Coffee for a Week?**

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><p>His team ended up catching their murderer within a couple hours of his physical, in that time he had sworn off that disgusting chemical that he had been adding to his coffee for years. He gave up coffee in general, it wouldn't do to let his team in on his secret as well. He sat in his office working after hours when Ducky next appeared in his vision. The good doctor was frowning at him.<p>

"Jethro, how is that even possible?" he finally asked. Gibbs looked at him, he shrugged his shoulders, "well I guess that's irrelevant. You said a week without coffee would confirm or deny any theory, does that mean you are…"

"Starting tonight I will not be drinking coffee, it's not good for me anyways. I might not be such a 'growling bear' if I did," he smiled up at the ME. Ducky shook his head at him with a smile of his own now.

"So you overheard that…" the doctor's smile was comforting in an old school way.

"Of course, I overhear a lot of things, but it would be better if people simply thought I didn't. I judge the range and frequency, depending on both I pretend I don't hear them. I also understand a lot more languages than I speak," he looked back to the report. He raised an eyebrow as something caught his attention. "Apparently I also learned to tune out other noises… DINOZZO!" There was a loud thunk against the bottom of Special Agent DiNozzo's desk, he could also see the objects on his desk jump up at the same time.

"Yes boss?" DiNozzo called rubbing his head. "Ow…" The senior field agent under him looked surprised…

"Go home and get some sleep, you look like hell," Gibbs shifted his eyes over towards Kate's desk, "same goes for you Kate." She looked at him, her face held a light scowl while searching his features, she had woken up when he shouted at DiNozzo.

"When are you going home?" she asked, stifling a yawn. Gibbs chuckled, then looked at Ducky, "that's what I thought. Wake us up at 0700." He smiled looking down at his desk, standing up.

"Actually, I'm on my way out," he caught the surprised look on her features easily, "I was going to suggest you do the same. Has Abby left yet Duck?" The ME nodded, he smiled following after the special agent into the elevator.

"Not a word to the others Duck," Gibbs leaned against the back of the elevator, "some things are better left unknown. Time to get back to the boat…" The soft ding announced their arrival at the first floor. The ME just smiled at him, he had no idea what he was getting into did he? Gibbs drove home, his vision had already cleared up a little. It was more than a little distracting to pick up more audio, he turned up the radio, but it only made his ears ring.

He stepped over the threshold, waiting at his door was a bright blue eyed youth, not unlike the past visitors he had gotten from Bruce. He wondered just what his little protégé was here to ask…

"The old man wanted me to check on you, he's getting paranoid in his old age ya know?" the youth cocked him an eyebrow as he just opened the door, not even bothering to pretend to unlock it. "You on the other hand seem to be inviting trouble, you ever thought about locking that?"

"What's the point?" Gibbs asked giving him a questioning look, "Bruce, you, and everyone else knows how to pick locks now-a-days. Doesn't matter if I invite them or not, they show up anyways. There's the Pistol and the Kate locked up, but that's about it. Want a drink kid?" The youth shook his head.

"Well when you put it that way I see your point," the youth laughed, "so I suppose you know who sent me, and what he wants me to check." Gibbs nodded, he had expected it in fact. "Any questions, objections, or changes?"

"I'm off them for a week starting this morning. Just a harmless bet with the ME," Gibbs announced, "he's a good friend. I'll check in with Bruce directly if you'd like at the end of the week to confirm I'm back to taking them." The youth frowned, he crossed his arms leaning against a door frame in the kitchen as Gibbs made himself some tea, "you sure you don't want anything?"

"Old man's not going to be happy about this, his blood pressure is going to hit the roof," the youth spoke softly, "but you said it's just for a week right?" Gibbs nodded, trying to figure out which tea to try first, "I guess it wouldn't hurt. I'll check in again with you in a week then, I expect you'll be hearing from him tomorrow then. You know how he is…"

"Yeah, I know how he is. You'd think he'd have passed away from a coronary by now though," Gibbs smiled, "I heard someone inherited it for good finally, you the lucky one?" The kid smiled softly, "I guess I won't know until you come knocking at my desk with top secret info for him. Tell Bruce he could just call if he wanted to, I'd drive up and see him some time." The youth laughed, and Gibbs realized that perhaps that would have been pushing it a bit.

"He'd be jealous, you haven't really aged at all in comparison as Leroy Jethro Gibbs. In fact, at the end of the week you may have color back in your hair," the youth mentioned with a smile, "the old man's just beginning to get liver spots. He's not enjoying it in the least, still as fit as a seventy something year old man can be." Gibbs laughed, that did sound like Bruce alright. He gave the kid a smile, watching him walk away, he reminded Gibbs of a mix between DiNozzo and McGee.

"What's your name anyways?" he called out. The youth poked his head around the corner, "I can't just call you the kid, he's had more than one protégé you know."

"I know that, I'm just the only one he doesn't get to take the cowl back from," the kid smiled his eyes were almost the same shade as Bruce's, "I'm Terry. Be seeing you around, Kal 'El." Gibbs shook his head, picking up his tea and heading for the basement. He figured he had a couple of hours before any serious symptoms of the drugs started or wore off. Best to get something done while he was suffering.

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><p><strong>Crimson Choucho- <strong>Bruce is a paranoid old bugger, ain't he? And yes, that was Terry McGinnis from Batman Beyond. I liked Terry and thought he was highly amusing. However he's going to live by the gravitational rules of NCIS. No jet powered boots in this fic. It's just a cameo. If you are questioning the age and timeline bit, think about when the Batman and Superman comics were first introduced. Now think about how old they would have to be now. Does it really sound like Bruce would be younger than Seventy? I should hope not. Well enjoy the madness, there may be more yet...


	3. Chapter 3

**This is Why Secrets are Secret!**

Summary: What a man does in his spare time should be his own business. What would they say if they caught the Man of Steel building boats by hand in a basement?

Disclaimers: You've probably heard them all before anyways, so I'm not going to bother with it. No money, no profit. Just entertainment and trying to have a productive muse.

**Three- Confusion**

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><p>Something was very, very wrong DiNozzo decided. The boss was late, and Ducky was currently seated at Gibbs' desk reading over some sort of report. Had the boss skipped his physical again and Ducky was lurking here to corner him into an exam? Kate was apparently thinking the same judging from the expression she flashed his direction. Then there was the noise, the soft ding of the elevator announcing the arrival of the person everyone but McGoo was waiting impatiently to arrive. Gibbs stepped off the elevator, he was on the phone with someone who could almost be heard clearly from where Tony was sitting. Gibbs' face had a look of understanding, but slight irritation.<p>

The male caller sounded more like Gibbs' ex-wives should have sounded when they called, or at least more like DiNozzo thought they should. Gibbs never answered his phone for them anyways, so it wasn't like he had anything to compare it to. Soon enough Gibbs closed the phone, and DiNozzo had to fight to keep the smile off his face as Gibbs stole his own coffee and dropped his phone in it. Wait… Where was Gibbs' ever present cup of coffee?

"Boss, where's your coffee?" he asked nervously. The lead agent walked over to where Ducky was waiting with a raised eyebrow. The ME exited his chair slowly as if he was examining him with his eyes. Gibbs took his seat and ignored the ME as he started to type on his keyboard, then he did the unthinkable. Kate's jaw dropped and DiNozzo felt his own mirror it. He smiled, Gibbs smiled and the only coffee in sight held his now un-repairable cell phone. Hell was freezing over, he exchanged glances with Kate passing her _his_ coffee as she made an excuse to go see Abby. Hopefully the peppy goth would have some sort of answer for this madness.

The former secret service agent had barely been gone two minutes when the line to Gibbs desk rang. Steely blue eyes looked down at the line, leaning back just far enough to read the caller ID. He smirked as he answered the phone, DiNozzo pulled out his reports he was _supposed_ to be working on, and did his best to overhear the conversation going on kitty corner from his desk.

"I wasn't expecting to hear from you again so soon Terri," Gibbs smiled turning towards the windows, "oh, is he now? He was quite crabby with me this morning, I bet half the office could hear him as he shouted at me. You'd think I was stealing his wife or something…" He looked over at DiNozzo with a suggestive smirk, before returning his attention to his call. DiNozzo ran the possibilities over in his head. The events leading to this morning's puzzling so 'unlike Gibbs' behavior remained a mystery.

The only facts he and Kate had were that someone was royally pissed at their boss to the point they were shouting loudly through a phone. They had originally suspected it to be Fornell, only that the lack of coffee would only have made Gibbs' attitude worse. Here it was improving at a scary rate to all but the oblivious McGoo who was sitting there… typing away at his computer tracing a call? Perhaps the probie was paying more attention than DiNozzo was.

"Hey Tony could you help me out here for a moment?" McGee called him over pointing to the information on the screen, "did we have _this_ address on file for that last witness we interviewed?" Tony looked at the trace, which just happened to be the Gibbs' desk phone, writing the number down as McGoo scribbled something down on his own paper before writing off to the side… _Is it just me or is the boss…_ Tony nodded taking the number back with him to his desk, he sent the number to both Abby and Kate's emails asking them to identify who the caller was. After several moments he felt his text alert go off. The message was from Kate, simple, brief, and to the point. _'Abby's lab, NOW!'_ DiNozzo walked over to Gibbs' desk before he noticed the look of humor gracing the man's face.

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><p>GIBBS<p>

"Hold on Terry," Gibbs didn't bother placing a hand over the receiver as looked up at Tony who was shifting nervously, "go. Obviously you're more interested in whatever it is Kate and Abby are up to." He tried his best not to laugh at their attempts to figure out what was going on. He had forgotten how cheerful he was prior to coffee and what his was designed to do, his team was probably noticing things were off already. Ducky had seemed amused at least.

"_Gibbs, the old man is about ready to take the private jet and me down to Norfolk to wring your neck. Do you really think this is a good time to hang up him?_" Terry's voice held no small amount of amusement as well, "_Needless to say I hope you're prepared to deal with him._" Gibbs found himself smiling at the phone staring at the windows again. McGee seemed the least concerned out of the group, but he hadn't needed to trace his phone call. Gibbs would have answered if they had simply asked. Although it would be interesting to see how they reacted to knowing exactly who he was arguing with.

Not that they'd really understand the whole thing, except Ducky, the ME had the missing puzzle piece that would answer all the questions. What would he think of Bruce Wayne's arrival at NCIS?

"Oh I am, you know what they used to call me," Gibbs couldn't help but smile wider at the idea, "I'm wondering what my team is going to think when he walks in here. If I know Bruce as well as I used to this ought to be quite interesting." McGee's heartbeat picked up from where he was sitting, he seemed to put two and two together to make four, he didn't have the other two to make it six though. "I'm going to have to let you go, there's a case. You have my sympathies for the next couple days." There was a soft 'later' as Gibbs placed the phone on the cradle and made for the elevator. He made his way down to Autopsy where Ducky was on a speaker call with Abby, Kate, and Tony. As Gibbs walked in he pressed a finger to his lips telling Ducky he already knew what they were up to.

"_Who was that?_" Kate questioned. Gibbs smiled at the ME cleared his throat and did something he hadn't done in years after checking that Ducky was only other person in Autopsy.

"Is that Special Agent Todd?" Gibbs mimicked Gerald's voice perfectly, "Tell her hello for me." The team on the other end of the line sighed. Ducky shook his head laughing silently at Gibbs' antics.

"_That was close, well Duckman what do you think? Is it a coincidence that the last number that called Gibbs' cell was from Gotham?_" Abby's voice rang through, "_or the fact that he just got a call from that person's assistant on his desk line? It seems like Gibbs is hiding something from us again!"_ The Kryptonian couldn't help the smile that crossed his face, he hadn't expected them to connect him and Bruce so quickly, but he was impressed that they had done so.

"I believe that if you really think he's hiding something you should just come out an ask him," Ducky answered neutrally, a smirk crossing his features as well as Gibbs put a finger to his lips again, "perhaps McGee could put your theory to rest as well?"

"_Hey guys, you'll never guess who I think is headed here!"_ McGee announced rather loudly on the other side of the line. There was a small scoff from DiNozzo, before he broke the probie's bubble.

"_Let's take a wild guess, Bruce Wayne?"_ the senior field agent spoke up. McGee's expression was probably priceless, and Gibbs was terribly irritated he couldn't use his X-Ray vision to sneak a peek at the expression. The unanimous giggles and laughs from the other side of the line confirmed what he suspected. Gibbs walked out of Autopsy and then stealthily snuck to the doorway to Forensics, Abby was facing her computer bringing up images of said Billionaire. There were even photos of him shaking hands with other well known figures. Gibbs was surprised at how much the man had aged, but the hard expression remained the same even after almost thirty years.

"Who said it was a wild guess?" Kate finally spoke, "he called Gibbs this morning and yelled at him before he even had his coffee. Which I really hope he's gotten some by now, otherwise he'll be positively dreadful."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Kate," Gibbs announced from the doorway.

"No problem Gibbs—" she cut herself off, turning to give him the best impression of a deer in the headlights he had ever seen. Well besides that time he told Sharon who he really was, that was comical too. The rest of the team was just as wide eyed, and Gibbs walked in non-chalantly ignoring their looks of nervousness.

"I'm taking a break from coffee," Gibbs announced, "Duck's orders based on what he saw on my physical… Now if you're all done gossiping there's a case to be dealt with." With the most suppressed smile he could manage he stepped back out of the room. He could just barely make out the snickers coming from Autopsy as Director Shepard made her way to down to his desk.

"Jethro," she started, her tone spoke of who she had just gotten off the phone with, "should I be worried that you have a pissed off Billionaire coming to Norfolk just to reprimand you?" Gibbs shrugged and sat down at his desk before looking back up at the director with slight irritation.

"Did you need anything _else_ Director?" he asked raising eyebrow at her. She frowned, crossed her arms into lecture mode just as the rest of the team made their way back to their desks.

"How did you manage to keep this a secret? How does an estranged gunny like you know Bruce Wayne?" she questioned. His team was now entirely focused on him, he managed not to scowl at being the center of their attention.

"You'll find out when he gets here, what's the case Director?" Gibbs redirected the conversation. She handed him a manila folder, he glanced over it and went to grab his badge and gun. "Get your gear, and someone pass on to Ducky he's about to have a new occupant." He was in the elevator before the rest of his team could shake the shock off, he was starting the Stratus before McGee finished packing the gear. The case looked interesting enough, Gibbs wondered how different solving a case would be without his coffee be…

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><p><strong>Crimson Choucho<strong>- This is really just because I really want to see a Ziva as Catwoman fic. In all honesty I have weird ideas like this all the time. I apologize for any character misinterpretations for Abby. It was a long hard fight to decide whether Gibbs would be Batman or Superman, but in the end Superman won. There's another muse with Ironhide as the Tumbler. Feel free to steal the muses for your own. :) Just send me a message, 'cause I wanna read 'em!


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